So I have been on hormones for a little over two months. Which is really great. However, it isn't nearly as fun when your work still views you as female.
See, I got my job in September and I didn't start hormones until January. So for about four months, I was pre t. Throughout that time, I tested the waters with most of the other employees and supervisors. I told them my preferred name, mentioned that I have a girlfriend, kept my hair cut short, and so far, all seems well.
But if there is one thing I've learned about coming out, it's that just because one accepts you as gay, does not necessarily mean they will accept you as trans.
As I'm trying to find the courage and the means to come out to my work, I have to deal with misgendering on a daily basis. What pisses me off the most is when I see someone new and they call me sir and all that and then someone who I see every day "corrects" them.
I know they're not doing it to be mean. When I first got the job, I had no choice what to label myself as female. So, even though now I'm passing more and more, they still view me as female. Sometimes I wonder if they notice the subtle voice drop but just don't mention it.
When I bring this issue up to other people, I get two main answers.
Answer #1: "Well why don't you just come out to them if it's so frustrating?"
Answer #2: "You know you aren't required to come out. You can continue your transition without informing them."
With #1: Frankly I'm hesitant to come out because this is still a new company (just over three years old), and they have yet to have any documented experiences with the GLBT community. When I was researching my last job, it was easy to find their stance because they have been around for much longer. A quick google search told me that they were very accepting towards the transgender community so I had no problem coming out then.
However with this job, there is no way of knowing what their views are. The best I can do is study the views of the individuals, which is pretty hard to do without dropping the gay bomb. Plus, I work in a hotel whose tenants mainly consist of elderly white republicans. If anyone reports that they so much as feel uncomfortable around me, then I may be kicked out. Sure that doesn't mean that I will be completely fired. If that does happen then they could just put me in a different post. But I'm a little nervous risking it.
As for #2: Yes, I can just not come out all together. My therapist and I have been all over the employee manual and there is nothing in it about taking hormones as long as it doesn't interfere with the job. But then I'll have to tolerate being misgendered until I get out the androgynous faze. And when that comes around, people who have known me since I was pre t will undoubtedly ask questions.
I guess I'm just finding it hard to find which direction I want to go in. Neither of them are easy.
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